Lately the band 38 Special and their song “ Hold on Loosely” lyrics keep ringing in my head. I hadn’t thought of that song since I was a teenager in the 1980’s. When I listened to it recently I hear it in a brand new way. Instead of a love song about a man who was too demanding of his lover. I see it as my relationship as a mom with my teen daughter. If I keep pushing her to understand the harmful side of “ Transgender” “ synthetic sex identity” coined by Jennifer Bilek https://www.the11thhourblog.com I just might loose her completely. But, If I learn to hold on loosely and not let her go and when there is an opening in a conversation gently talk to her about the harms. Maybe then she will find her way back to herself.
I need to break down the lyrics, how I am interpreting them now and how they apply to my indoctrinated teen girl.
[Verse 1]
You see it all around you
Good loving gone bad
And usually it's too late when you
Realize what you had
Like the first verse of the song. I saw this thing we call “ Transgenderism” all around me for several years before it came for my daughter. I would have conversations with my best friend talking about “ what is going on with this “ Transgender phenomenon that is happening and them wanting in our bathrooms?” The good loving gone bad is, seeing parents that have bought the Trans child lie hook line and sinker. They line up for puberty blockers, cross sex hormones and have their teen girls breasts removed. They are doing this all before their daughters have their first kiss, first boyfriend or girlfriend. They will never know what excitement it is to have your breasts touch for the first time with a lover. All this before they have an orgasm with a lover. They will be robbed of all those young sexual experiences all in the name of a feeling of being born in the wrong sexed body. I used to be totally accepting of people doing what they want, and have always been. That’s the way my free spirited hippy artist mom raised me to be. I now realize the good loving in my heart for my child is now gone and replaced with a different kind of love that feels desperate. I realize late in the game the relationship I had with her is different now.
[Pre-Chorus]
And my mind goes back
To a girl I met some years ago
Who told me
[Chorus]
Just hold on loosely, but don't let go
If you cling too tightly
You're gonna lose control
Your baby needs someone to believe in
And a whole lot of space to breathe in
The pre chorus is me thinking back on her from the time she was conceived, picking out her name and the little girl she was some years ago. The little girl who just watched Rapunzel looking up to me and saying “ I want Rapunzel hair.” I let her grow it all way down to her ass! All of her dress up days and the days she was on a big stage performing ballet for hundreds of people every year, is gone because of the the gender identity she has bought into.
I am coming to realize perhaps, I have been clinging to tightly to what she used to be instead of who she is becoming. That she needs space to breath in. She needs me to believe in her, not the fantasy identity she has taken on. I am lucky in a way. She has never demanded for me to call her anything other than her birth name or any stupid pronoun. She is a really good girl. Who I think, because she is a Highly sensitive child
https://hsperson.com she is easily dooped and wants to fit in with the misfits. I am a highly sensitive empath https://suemahony.com/highly-sensitive-empath raising a girl just like me in a really upside down world. I was her, so I see me in her. I wanted desperately to fit in and always felt weird and different. The one thing that is different is, I was a Tomboy. She on the other hand was never a Tomboy. I know, I would be a victim of the gender identity campaign if I grew up now. Just like her. I think that is why I can see behind the vail. I need to give my baby someone to believe in. A mom that embodies what a strong woman looks like. A woman that accepts her body. A women who believes in the hard won sex based rights of women. This way she can learn to believe in the power of women.Ok let’s get back to the lyrics.
[Verse 2]
So damn easy
When your feelings are such
To overprotect her
To love her too much
Verse 2 hits me right in my heart! It is so damn easy when your feelings are such that you want to overprotect your child. You end up loving her too much! That your love is stifling her and not giving her room to fall down. That if I look at the big picture, I really don’t have any control over her. I have no control over the people at school calling her a male name. I have no control over her mind thinking she rather be a boy. Even if I took her computer away now. I have no control over what she has exposed herself to. I really can’t roll it back. The genie is out of the bottle. Only time will tell if I have made a deep mistake of not pushing the harms of the this ghoulish agenda down her throat. If that she chooses the path of self inhalation I have no control over that. She just might end up with regret only time will tell.
[Bridge]
Don't let her slip away
Sentimental fool
Don't let your heart get in the way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
We have now come to the bridge. Don’t let her slip a way. How do I do that? I keep calling her by her name. I keep calling her daughter. I keep calling her she. I keep giving her daily hugs. I keep telling her every day I love her. I keep telling her I am proud of her when she does something new and positive for her. I keep my heart open. I keep telling her she is beautiful just the way she is.
I am the biggest sentimental fool! All over my room and house are pictures of her growing up. Dozens of pictures she drew me, all with “ I love you mommy on them.”
I am a work in progress when it comes to not letting my heart get in the way. Yeah, yeah yeah…
I see a future of two paths. One she wakes up and embraces and accepts her female body. The other path of medicalization and mutilation. So for now, I am holding on loosely and I won’t let go. I will hold space for her and always love her! It is the old saying “ It is not the destination is it the journey.”
So will you sing with me for my baby girl? I sing for all the mothers with girls that are trapped in a lie.
Hold on loosely. Yup. Your reminder to give the space for her to grow into herself is vital. Thanks for writing this.